Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
