what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
