Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
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