It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
It's no shave November. This is our time.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Randomize
