Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
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