dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize
