She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Randomize
