very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
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