I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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