his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
