I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
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