Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Randomize
