I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
