Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
