Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
