I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
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