i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
