he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
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