I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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