I feel like abortions should bother me more
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
