I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
