...so i touched it.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
