The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
i need some magic done to my vagina
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
