I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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