I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
