That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
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