quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
