That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Randomize
