It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
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