so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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