Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
So much Jack, so little girl.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
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