i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
he puts the penis in happiness.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
