Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
