i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
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