I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Randomize
