Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Randomize
