Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
