found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Randomize
