1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
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