Plan B is the new Plan A
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize
