ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Randomize
