He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
