I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
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