I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize