I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
