man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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