I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
