i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
