pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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