Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
