if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
