it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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