Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
then he tried to convert me to islam
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
whose parrot is this?
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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