Sober January is a disaster.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Randomize
