You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you donโt have to recycle anymore ๐๐
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