Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
