the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
