we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
