Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
