Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Randomize
