It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
