You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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