i was rollin on her like bob the builder
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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