The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
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