he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Randomize