census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Randomize
