I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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