why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
