I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
