I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
it's great music for shaving your balls
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
