I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
